*[[ Fairytale To Happen ]]*

Thursday, July 31, 2003

You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|6:29:00 PM|

damn SBS transit. damn the north-east line. i feel cut off from the world. anywhere in singapore used to be just a simple bus ride away, now SBS has cut off all my links to civilisation. damn damn damn. no more direct bus to orchard, nor to raffles place. talk about having an effective transportation network.. grrrr...
and -no- i do not consider trains an effective form of transportation simply because i'm a bus person. i love having my own personal space on the bus where i can just immerse myself in my own world and watch the scenery whizz past. on the train? i watch the same drab grey wall whizz past all the way from hougang to dhoby ghaut and the tracks fly out from under my feet. wow. my idea of fun...

I cannot believe that there are people who don't know what a bimbo is. and if you are wondering, they are only a few years older than i am. yesh. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when after being told the meaning, they innocently wondered aloud if it would be a compliment or an insult to be called one. and proceeded to ponder over whether a guy with looks and no brains can be called a bimbo too. well quite obviously it would be unreasonable to expect them to know of the existence of 'himbos' when they don't even know what 'bimbo's are. as i told char.. how they can be capable of such ignorance is beyond my comprehension. yes of course i was in a bad mood this morning. yes i know it's mean and bitchy of me to be writing this. no i don't care. no i am not going to take it off. no i don't want to be a nicer person and NO i do not need to see a shrink.

last day at work today. surprisingly, saying goodbye the second time round was equally hard; if not harder.. maybe coz this time i knew the goodbyes were final. all the gossip and eating sessions, jokes, teasing each other, shooting rubber bands at each other.. i'll never get to do all these with my colleagues again. haha. raided the pantry one last time before I left. come to think of it, i'll miss my bosses and 'heads' (i.e. the people who always piled work on me) the most. my officer shook my hand for the longest time and refused to let go, all the while telling me to take care and study hard. yeap I will =) it's really quite sad when I look back. they've been such an integral part of my life for the past 7 months and now i'll probably never see them again in my life unless our paths cross by chance. hah. anyway i left my handphone behind and had to make a grand finale entrance into the office again, making everyone laugh.

and i haven't driven for 3 days. no wonder i'm so grouchy..

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|6:04:00 PM|

to you: i think about all the conversations we've had and feel your hand in mine again. then i say your name once, twice, a third time. some nights i sleep like that, remembering you, some nights i only sleep as dawn comes on...

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:01:00 AM|

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

well so it has to come to this huh.

i've never wanted to do something so badly in my life.

how ironic. law probably has the lightest timetable in the entire university; and french, only 2 lectures per week. and yet there has to be a timetable clash. and I can do nothing about it.

after all it took.. initial depression at not being able to do language modules, then the joy of realising that the rules are relaxed this year, then an instant blow finding out that i missed the placement test by 12 hours... all the calls, people I spoke to trying salvage something... finally getting interviewed and an oral test by M. Doumecq... euphoria..being placed in advanced French.. and now ... this..

sometimes even having faith and fighting for what you really want is not enough. and it hurts. hurts so damn badly. knowing what you wanted was so close, yet so far.

after being numb for a week. knowing i'll have another chance next semester.

but this term? i won't wake up happy knowing i'll have french lessons to look forward to.

nothing comes close. ever. i'd give up law for this. truly i would.

if only I could..

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|9:40:00 PM|

have lotsa lotsa lotsa lotsa thingies to say.. now where do i start?!

just read candice's blog and wanna complain! why is my mum not stuffing me with FOOD?!?!?! oh i know the reason very well.. my parents are too preoccupied with the new house to even think about food.. -wails- .. i come home hungry everyday and rummage through the fridge and food cupboard and leave the kitchen sad and empty-handed... come to think of it, it's been ages since they made their weekly trip to NTUC, and yup, it's a miracle of sorts that all of us are not dying of hunger yet and that my grandma somehow manages to find stuff to put on the dinner table every night. =o)
and instant noodles.. MY FAVOURITE FOOD. there used to be like 4 different brands and at least 8 different flavours of instant noodles sitting around at home and now? 4 packets.. 4 miserable packets left! and even this supply is dwindling rapidly due to my over-consumption.. -sigh- and you thought people only died of starvation elsewhere in the world, not in singapore.

yessh. CANOEING.. going back for nationals was simply overwhelming. great. just as though i were back in j2 and competing again. Reading about candice's and huiling's memories, and also the j2 guys' experiences never fails to stir up a flurry of emotions in me. There are so many things, so many little details about my canoeing life that I cherish and hold dear to me, i cannot even begin to write about them. Those 1 1/2 years were one of the best times of my life; to all of you who were there for me, who supported me and believed in me throughout, thank you so much and i love you all... may we all still be here for each other years and years down the road.
looking forward to the sleepover! =o)
oh yessh.. and i'm meeting jo and huiling and candice tmr and they're gonna pluck their eyebrows! gosh.. how tai tai! -laughs-

still have lots lots more to say but think i'd better do something about my rumbling tummy....

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|7:05:00 PM|

Monday, July 28, 2003

amazing how an afternoon nap leaves you feeling all grimy and grubby upon waking..
and amazing how a nice cool shower does wonders for that!

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|6:50:00 PM|

To my darling:

I knew it was you,
had to be you,
the moment we set eyes on each other.
You were the pretty one,
the white one,
winking at me in the sun.

I bent down
and touched your pink strip
the pink strip that
set you apart from the rest.
That simple touch
that sealed our bond.

Fate brought us together,
oh wonderful fate.
The first time you carried me out,
i felt at peace
Together we fought the battle
for 4 months.
Such a long time,
yet too short a time.

There were times when i had to fight,
fight to be with you.
All the times i had to give you up to someone else,
I never performed as well.

Stroke by stroke,
we would glide through the water,
moving together as one.
You took me to so many places,
places i could never have gone
without you.

On competition days,
i sat in you,
watching the sun rise above the horizon.

On wednesday trainings,
the sun set on us
as we floated on the water.

And the times I just sat in you
looking at the empty river
and feeling like I was in heaven.

Through the rain and the sun,
we braved the elements together.
All the starting bursts, 1000m races, pyramids,
you always pulled me through.

You whispered to me the secrets of the water;
I could feel your moods.
Some days I felt your reluctance to move,
Some days I would hear you chuckle,
as you glided effortlessly through the water.

At times you seemed to have a mind of your own,
You wanted to wander around.
I always pulled you back on course,
while feeling your resistance.

Though we fell many times together at the start,
the time spent with you
made both of us stronger.
Even the largest waves merely washed over us,
and we emerged victorious

Imagine my heartache when I knew,
Knew that you could not be with me,
for the final race, the final push, the final time.

The starting burst, the maintenance, the end burst.
All 1000 m of it.
I was thinking of you throughout,
I did it all for you.
Fought for you.
Fought for all the time spent together,
Fought for all you taught me,
Fought for the memories.
It never was the same without you
How could I have thought it would be?

After one year,
I set eyes on you again.
You were competing,
taking someone on his quest for victory.
I felt that same surge of pride and love wash over me,
just like it used to.

I could have bent down to touch you;
one more time, one last whisper.
But i didn't.
For you belong to someone else now,
and may you serve him well.

I wonder what went through your mind then,
do you still think fondly of me?
You will live in my heart forever,
but your true home is by the sea.

May there always be someone
who will take good care of you
and love you like I do.

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:47:00 PM|

You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely
devoted to others,especially that one
person.You really can't get them out of your
head,but then,you don't really want to.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

oh my god..this is uncanny.. and scary even. how do they know what's going on in my head?!

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|8:25:00 AM|

Sunday, July 27, 2003

today was a nice lazy sunday afternoon. just stayed in front of the pc downloading songs/reading blogs, then finally watching the dark clouds gather outside the window and the sheets of rain come pouring down after that. probably will never have such enjoyable afternoons anymore once school starts.. sheesh. i am such a lazybum...

the rain made me glad that i ran in the morn... yes thanks terence for dragging me out of the house to run, haven't done -any- exercise at all since 2 wks ago... hmm ok do you count depressing the clutch pedal and moving my foot from the accelerator to the brake as exercise? -hopeful look- .. was really physically tired today plus terence didn't want to exert himself too much before his 'xiong' week in ocs so he didn't push me at all; we only took a really leisurely 3-4 km run.. grr.. what a disgrace.

everybody's leaving. jenn called me to say goodbye last night; she's leaving for good; and taking a 1 month tour in the US with her mum before her term starts, the lucky girl! char (tan)'s leaving for France on tues; candice to LSE sometime in aug, sharm to berkeley, and eventually terence to france. oh yeah and fang's back in aussieland already enjoying herself no doubt =)

ok.. have tentatively made great travelling plans already for next hols... might go up to london to visit candice and then we'll go to blackpool together to ride all the amazing roller coasters! yippee! then it's just a train ride away to France where char and terence and annelise are! oh yeah terence suggested going to portugal to catch euro 2004 but yeah that's -if- we get tix.. i am NOT gonna travel to portugal just to sit in some hotel room watching soccer matches on tv when i can very well do the same in singapore... ooooh.. all this fantasizing and dreaming is making me soo happy... and my senior rebecca just HAS to sms me at this very moment asking when i'll be in nus so she can pass all her law books to me. -ouch-. what a harsh flight back to reality..

i swear.. i was sooo happy sitting in a car today after not having driven yesterday. as i told char (kwa).. I just love the feeling of driving on the roads, it's so amazingly relaxing and calming, even though half the time i'm getting scolded by the instructor beside me coz i keep forgetting -everything- like checking my blind spots, signalling etc. and yeah, today was my evaluation and the very first thing i had to do was not stop at the stop line. how screwed up. and i bloody rolled backwards on the slope! ROLLED BACKWARDS!!!! that's something I haven't done in yonks, not since the lesson i learnt the slope!!! what was wrong with me today?!.. anyway became perfectly happy again after dreaming about my future midnight drives round the island when i get my lamborghini and yesh.. not forgetting that driving licence that has to come first.

funny.. have been pondering over this for many nights now and read the exact same thoughts put down by two different people in their respective blogs:

it's amazing how the person who used to make you cry still has the ability to do so...

ok.. i'm the technodino here now. someone help me! candice! danette! joanne! mavis! how the hell do i add a tagboard to my blog?!?!?!!!!!

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|8:40:00 PM|

so...

i have succumbed... to the blogging craze...

should i feel proud of myself?

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|7:51:00 PM|