*[[ Fairytale To Happen ]]*

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

this is damn weird
all i can say is that people are becoming damn weird nowadays
every time we go to that old, abandoned, derelict, bat-infested, mosquito infested mansion on sentosa to check it out for quest, there's always a couple taking wedding photos there
the bride in her gown and pristine white HEELS somemore

i never knew run down old houses were so popular nowadays
but i suppose i should understand
i would love wedding photos at a real nice gothic place.. complete with gargoyles and all that

i like my new home... there's everything here that i can possibly want
;)

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:19:00 PM|

Sunday, July 25, 2004

another sleepless night.

someone once told me - ian i think - that the greeks viewed the purest, most perfect form of love as the act of unconditional giving. and it has some cheem name but i can't recall it and can't be bothered to trawl through the 200+ mails just to find it... IF they even still exist.

to hell with that notion

because i've stepped out of that fairy tale world long ago and i know this kind of love is impossible to find. heck it's only human to expect something in return for what you've given... even if it's from someone you love. and even if we don't blatantly show that we want to be treated in the same way, deep in some part of us we secretly wish that we'd be given what we've gave.

fuck. i'm just tormenting myself like that

the best lesson is one learnt the hard way. i should learn not to expect so much. it might be hard but maybe i'd be happier this way

been a little out of sorts since i finished that qiong2 yao2 novel. she has a way of writing those heartbreaking stories that sort of draw you into the story as well. and then you kind of walk around shrouded in a haze of sadness for the next few days.... i am going to finish ALL her books... i will i will i will because i love them so.

i think of my kangaroo in peaceful slumber far far away... may angels bring him sweet dreams all night long and may he wake up to the kiss of the sun's rays with a smile on his face.
good night my dear one

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|4:37:00 AM|

Saturday, July 24, 2004

next sem's timetable is out and the 4 9-am days just disgust me no end. thank god i have someplace to stay in school (even though it's in a red-bricked blue-doored run down building) for i really can't imagine myself crawling out of bed at 7 am in the morning and taking a 1 1/2 hour bus ride down just for a 2 hr lecture.

bah but then again knowing me even though i've vowed to get a decent amount of sleep each night and really pay attention in lectures i'd probably end up succumbing to night runs, visits to fong seng and movies movies and more movies. and either wake up at noon the next day or stumble into the LT bleary eyed and proceed to sleep through the next 2 hrs. i know myself too well.

the pop pop game still has a stronghold on me... we've managed to reach stage 81 which really, is something to be proud of and when i close my eyes i like to picture the screen in front of me and mentally pop those bubbles

i am also officially ending my boycott of thaiexpress (which started for some silly reason) because the food there is really damn damn good and i guess i owe it to myself to pamper my body and tastebuds with such great food before i grow old and get diagnosed with kidney failure / liver failure or have to get all my rotting teeth plucked out....

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|1:46:00 PM|

Sunday, July 18, 2004

the sengkang library actually has the entire agatha christie collection. in CHINESE. wow. i'm impressed.

and after one week of vacation from blogging this is all i have to say

and "i wear camel" is the weirdest msn nick i have ever seen in my life. seriously weird shit. even though "ego tripping at the gates of hell" is pretty nonsensical as well so who am i to speak...

but anyway speaking of that i realise that i like abstract ideas. a nice sounding string of words that actually mean nothing at all... movies and books with weird floating around plots that you can't really grasp at all but i love it all the same.. being immersed in that sea of floaty dreamy abstract stuff. no wonder i loved facing window. while kangaroo came out of the cinema looking so bemused.

argh kangaroo is reading out to me over the phone all the previous posts i've written... that concern him... argh argh argh... so embarrassing... cringe cringe cringe... CRINGE... argh... stoppit stoppit STOPPIT!!!!!!!!!!

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|11:53:00 PM|

Sunday, July 11, 2004

i miss my old house. after 19 years of being lulled to sleep by the noise of passing vehicles i find my new room / house too deathly silent for comfort. in fact i'm so used to background noise that i can't function in silent places at all. when i try to study at the law library the ringing in my years drives me absolutely nuts and now when i sleep i have to turn on the fan [in addition to the aircon] just for that tiny amount of background noise which, by the way, is still not enough. -grrrr-

but i love my room anyway when it's pitch black at night. and i love it too when i leave my hi-fi on throughout the night, letting the eerie blue light spill over the room and cast flickering shadows on the walls

i have a new favourite game to announce to the world! don't really know its name but we call it the 'pop pop' game and it is soooo damn fantastic and exhilarating that i just want to play it the whole night through until my eyes pop and go blind. but argh i'm always getting into these silly crazes that almost drive kangaroo mad and i'm sure i'll be utterly sick of this popping stuff in a few weeks time so stay tuned for my new favourite game soon! -grin-

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|11:49:00 PM|

Saturday, July 10, 2004

am currently reading haruki murakami's "dance dance dance" which is so damn fantastic.
thanks candice for the recommendation! -grin-

every single time i walk into borders i feel this uncontrollable urge to buy books. heck if i had the money i'd buy every single book i like and spend my days just reading away... but for now i guess i'll just have to make do with trips to the library and rental bookstores... with only an occasional purchase now and then..

oh yeah and everyone who enjoys horror should catch godsend coz it's so goddamn fantastic too... it's very dean koontz-ish i must say... which is probably why i like it so much

=)

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:58:00 PM|

another quite out-of-point one but i think it's quite nice.. the angle and all...

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:59:00 AM|

one of the many silly ones danette took when i was examining noel's camera and photos

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:58:00 AM|

nice close-up one... noel's aiming is not bad =)

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:57:00 AM|

danette and noel were taking pics of each other taking each other... and this is what noel took using my cam

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:53:00 AM|

us at gelaré

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:50:00 AM|

our much beloved HnF MM will be leaving for the US in a few days time to work AND study for a year
he claims otherwise but i believe he'll have a blast of a time there
it was a great evening
thanks for the relationship advice -grin- and all the scandalous hall gossip (although i think i was the one providing most of the gossip news but argh nevermind)
we'll see each other in a year's time and who knows? he might have a beautiful blond babe clinging to his arm by then *wink*

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:35:00 AM|

Thursday, July 08, 2004

quest is coming along really nicely and the only thing i regret is not being able to run around / dress up as a ghost and scare the shit out of the freshies. after our own matric week last year the few of us came up with the wonderful idea of being in charge of our own scary station when we became seniors so we could all scare the freshies together

and look at what's happened now

i can't do it anymore coz i have to spend the night running around making sure everything's going on fine.. that no one's died of fright.. blah blah

william's become the logistics vice-chair so he'll be busy moving heavy stuff around

celeste and pc have their own non-scary station

dave's an ogl so all he can do is lead the freshies around

mike and hz i dunno what became of them but they'll be doing something i suppose

and james is THE ONLY one who's still confirmed gonna be a ghost...

sigh...

but i hope quest will be fun
i hope they'll be so scared they won't be able to fall asleep at night
-evil grin-

anyways kangaroo has reassured me that if we ever do have a kangaroo baby we'll be the coolest funkiest parents on earth
oh yes we will
we'll give him all the freedom i never had as a kid
he'll teach him the arcade gun and airplane games while i'll teach him the bang bang and pop pop ones
and i will teach him to drive / ride a motorbike when he's 10 (this one kangaroo doesn't quite approve of YET... but i'm sure i can negotiate something out haha)
and when kangaroo and i are going on vacation we'll dump him with his paternal grandmother who is quite cool and funky herself and he'll have the coolest funkiest childhood anyone can ever have!

and i found the online version of the pop pop game i so love but i have to say that the real thing is better
especially the 2 player version
so kangaroo hurry up come back so we can go plaaaaaaayyy!!!
*and i'll make sure this time we don't die at stage 20++*

=)

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|1:20:00 AM|

Sunday, July 04, 2004

was rummaging around in my freezer when i came across this box of king's japanese ice cream
cool. never in my wildest dreams had i ever thought my dad had such cool taste.
it's really heavenly and i must conclude here that the japanese probably make the best desserts in the world (think this, the PS jap restaurant and genkhis khan)
it's a round slab of peach yoghurt (which actually tastes more like peach/strawberry ice cream) wrapped with japanese rice dough and frozen
simple and good
just like what most jap stuff are (except those stationery items with hideous english phrases which don't make sense half the time)

anyway.. back to work back to work.. am helping the kangaroo look for info on kiln drying and i think i just found a pretty good site. =) maybe i can even depend on it to provide all the answers to his questions =)

looking forward to euro finals at candice's place tonight
people have been asking me which team i'm gonna support and i have no answer
i don't like both teams
greece because they play that kind of stifling defensive football that i really can't stand
and then there are just those teams which i just inexplicably hate
portugal is one of them (along with germany; and england which i really really HATE with a passion)
which come to think of it is weird since i follow the premier league
but anyways
just looking forward to tonight
not so much for the footy but more for the company
whooopieee
we haven't spent time together as the happening north ppl for a really really long time
=)

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|6:37:00 PM|

my sticky date pudding which is really damn damn damn nice! and the glass it came in is how cool... =)

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:13:00 AM|

the birthday girl looking so glam =)

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|12:04:00 AM|

Saturday, July 03, 2004

i've been thinking.. and i'm disgusted.
all the negative traits that i see and hate in my mum
are they part of me too? for don't children always grow up with the same characteristics and values as their parents? (although most including me would give anything for it not to be true)
sometimes i think not.
for why else would i be rebelling all the time, why else would we have conflicting opinions all the time?
and i feel much better suddenly

but i guess deep down inside i'm probably similar to her in more ways than i know.. than i would care to admit
and i hate it. hate every fucking bit of it
i wish i could tear away from myself the bit of me that contains her
and if i ever do have children
i promised myself long ago that i'd never let them go through the same oppressive childhood i had
but what if i turn out to be the same type of mother that she is?
i'm scared
if it's gonna be like this then i'd rather not have kids
than having them live through 20 years (and counting) of torture.
fuck. how?

if i could choose i'd rather have worse, but different faults as compared to those she has
sad but true
i just don't want to see myself in her

all these sounds very joy-luck-club-ish
but unlike waverly/lindo i hope i'd never accept the fact that she and i are alike
never never never

on a happier note
"tea" at dome today was great
and don't worry mavis you're as glam as ever despite having come back from that unglam country
oh yeah and people if you're ever real dead broke and want a filling meal just go to dome!
for $5.90 you get a huge basket of huge chunks of potato wedges that was impossible for 3 people to finish
really. it's even more worth it than crystal jade's $1.50 plain porridge.
coz you're actually real full FULL after eating it
and you don't feel as paiseh as when you go to a nice glam crystal jade and only order a $1.50 porridge

yeah... that's all i have to say
looking forward to tmr night! ;)

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|11:48:00 PM|